This week has been a very interesting week filled with a wide range of emotions. I was informed on Monday that my job is once again in jeopardy as my church faces a budget deficit of around $80,000. It was about this time last year that i was looking at a 20 percent pay/time cut, which seems a little bit ironic that once again i am faced with the same difficult possibilities. I remember last year it made it tough to plan for spring/summer activities, not knowing if i would even be here long enough to see these plans become a reality. I went home on Tuesday and took some time to think about the implications of once again being cut or let go and felt all the same feelings creeping up regarding a lack of desire to plan.
I have decided though that I will continue to give everything my best, trusting that God is working in this situation somehow. God has been so evidently faithful to my family and I have been surprised daily by his provisions and love for us. A while back I listened to a sermon by Francis Chan in which he said that Christians often want to see our faith refined and strengthened, but when difficult times come we cry out for God to release us. I have been trying to view all of these challenges as a chance to strengthen my relationship with Christ and develop a deeper trust in my Lord. This is not always easy and there are definitely days when i worry about where the money will come from to pay all of our bills. However, I find comfort remembering Christ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6, where he tells us not to worry. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
My hope is that I will take all opportunities in my life to trust in my Lord to care for me and provide for me. I pray that when difficult situations arise i will turn right to God and through these situations learn more about the love my Father has for me.